So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
