Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
