I seem to have left my pride at pride
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
