So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
