My nipple is on Facebook.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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