WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
