You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
