we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
