elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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