normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
We talked him into tasing himself.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
