I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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