Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
