So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
