I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I can't turn off my feet"
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
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