Will you blow on my dice?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
