My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Randomize
