There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
