He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize