i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize