i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
You're like the curious george of whores
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
