i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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