Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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