i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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