Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
