I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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