my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
