I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
