what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
