I want to stick my p in your. b.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
You may now shotgun with the bride
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
