very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
