I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
