I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
