i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
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