so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
