Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
