Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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