i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
