if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Randomize
