no. you can't hotbox the world.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
