real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
