And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
