You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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