Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
