i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
