Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
The chlamydia really affected his face.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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