why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
