need another drink. this is the easiest way
I can tuck mytits in my pants
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
