Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
