Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
