i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
