he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
pray to the hookup gods
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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